Rufus Opus

Tag: Teachings

Tag: Teachings

  • Holistic Wholeness and Perfect Goodness

    Good news, everyone, I got it! I mean, I got it. I really got it.

    I had an epiphany last night and early this morning. I’ll try not to
    wax all mystical and ecstatic on it, but it was beautiful. It made
    sense of everything. Literally, everything. Birth, life,m death, struggles, woe, time, death, eternity, bliss, joy, it all wrapped up together around 4:30 a.m. in the following. The glyph is the key, ultimately.

    I’m not getting into the boring details at the moment, I’m just going to summarize. I posted this to Ritual Magick, so if you’ve been there, you’ll be wasting your time unless you want to hear me talk more about it. You should be working on this shit. I’ll be coming down with a minor messiah complex for a few days, but I DID do some conjuring in the name of Messiah at daybreak, so hey, what can you expect?

    Anyway, the result of my moment is the following layout for the altar:

    In the center, you place four sealed vessels that have the spirits
    of the Four Kings of the elements bound within, each in their
    appropriate quadrant:

    • South – Mahazael, sealed with the name Uriel
    • North – Azael, sealed with the name Gabriel
    • West – Azazel, sealed with the name Raphael
    • East – Samael, sealed with the name Michael

    Make sure you seal these demons in using something that you can let
    them out if you need them later in your existence, but you want them
    sealed unless they are actively performing something you’ve told them
    to do.

    Around these four sealed vessels, you place the following talismen
    in their appropriate quadrant:

    • South – Uriel~Ariel Talisman
    • North – Gabriel~Tharsis Talisman
    • West – Raphael~Cherub Talisman
    • East – Michael~Seraph Talisman

    These talismen should NOT use the seals of the angels as attributed
    in other grimoires. These are the four elemental Kings, not the
    Archangels of the planetary spheres that share the same names. To
    get the appropriate seal, conjure each of the Elemental Kings
    separately.

    Beside each of the Elemental Kings’ talismen, place the appropriate
    elemental weapon. The wand in the East, the Cup in the North, the
    Knife in the West, and in the South your own personal seal.

    You now have two circles on your altar, the infernal circle in the
    center, and the elemental circle around that. These two spheres
    *are* the material realm, and at the exact same time they *are* your
    personal Sphere as a magician.

    Starting in the South, place 7 planetary Talisman in the following
    order clockwise, 51.429 degrees apart (give or take a hundredth of a
    degree):

    • Moon
    • Venus
    • Jupiter
    • Mercury
    • Saturn
    • Sun
    • Mars

    These are the seven spheres that surround the magician’s sphere.
    These create the table of practice.

    That’s the physical manifestation of the Key. The Lamp should be
    placed outside this circle to the east. The Divine Darkness that
    Dionysius the Areopogate is outside the light.

    The altar is now complete.

    This is what mine looks like:

    As you can see, I’m using the four elemental kings of the Tarot as temporary placeholders for Michael, Uriel, Raphael, and Gabriel.

  • 1.5 – While we’re here: The Great Work in Action

    Ok, so we’ve established what the Great Work “is” within the neo-platonic context in the previous installment of the NP Basics series. This post is about how it all unfolds in the life of your average Magician practicing the Great Work using the NP system.

    1.5.1 – The HGA, Your Emissary from God

    Ok, so there’s a boat-load of talk about the HGA, what it is, and what it does on various message boards and web pages across the Internet. There’s lots of talk in modern published magical books, too. Most of what you read is speculation, because people with opinions and writing talents haven’t attained K&CHGA (Knowledge and Conversation with the Holy Guardian angel), but they don’t bother to let that stop them from saying their piece.

    Now, the phrase itself comes from the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. It was popularized by Crowley, predominantly, in the modern Western Mystery Tradition. The author of the Sacred Magic wrote the book to his second son because he could not pass on the mysteries of the QBL to him. The QBL had to go to the first-born son. He wanted his second son to have a mystical heritage as well, so he gave him the mysteries of the Sacred Magic. He states that the Sacred Magic can be derived from the QBL, but the QBL cannot be derived from the Sacred Magic.

    In the NP magical system, we’ve seen that the basic premise is that of emanation. God unfolded itself throughout existence in hierarchical stages, each getting closer to the realm of Matter. The QBL is another manifestation of this type of philosophy. I’ve argued that the NP emanationist philosophy is the source of the QBL, that the Jews adopted the concepts and dressed them up in their own cultural symbols. There’s evidence that can be found to support this view, or the view that the NP system was derived from the QBL, or that they developed from at the same time concurrently, in the same environment, drawing from the same sources. While various interpretations of the evidence can support different views, I personally believe the NP system is the source of the QBL, or at least the primary influence. There’s just an awful lot of “coincidental” domination of the Jews by Greek influence at every major growth-point of the QBL.

    So that’s how the HGA, a symbol from a QBList, ties into the NP system I’m presenting. I’ve staid away from the QBL in this series of posts so far, but practically speaking, the HGA is the best-known representative from God in the modern Western Mystery Traditions. There’s an Agathadaimon in more traditional Hellenistic writings that may correspond to the HGA, but I worked with my HGA before even knowing about the Agathadaimon, so anything I would say about that entity would be tainted speculation. I’ve got to stick with what I know.

    The first thing you should do as a practicing magician using the NP system is make contact with your HGA. This entity is assigned to you at birth, and is responsible for all the spiritual initiations, authority, and Gnosis you achieve in life. It is your personal emissary from the Good, the One, the Source, God itself. Through K&CHGA, you get the attunement of your sphere to the point where you can work with the spirits from your position of authority as a representative of God in the material realm. It’s “like” a new age spirit guide, in some ways, but the new age spirit guide model doesn’t present the meat of the entity’s interaction with you the way the HGA model does. Spirit guides in the New Age take on forms of animals and such, indicating they are “lower” in the neo-platonic hierarchical system than the angels. However, that being said, my HGA revealed it had taken on the form of a spirit guide earlier in my magickal practices to get me to the point where I could attain K&CHGA.

    To attain K&CHGA, I used the ritual Liber Samekh as presented in Lon Milo DuQuette’s The Magick of Aleister Crowley. Some people say it isn’t the same thing at all, but they’re honestly mistaken. The evidence to prove this is found in the Abramelin rite itself. You have to perform Samekh successfully to find the proof, but it’s there.

    After making contact with the HGA, your sphere is changed. You go through a Solar “initiation,” to put it in Golden Dawn terminology. The result is the beginning of the experiential knowledge of your Race and Value as expressed by Plotinus. From this knowledge-based-on-experience, the authority to “command” the spirits is attained.

    1.5.2 – Working with the Spirits

    After attaining K&CHGA, the magician is ready (and strongly urged by the HGA) to begin working with the spirits. Spirit conjuration is the primary methodology of any magician’s performance of the Great Work. I believe that every magickal act, whether ritual or contemplative, involves interacting with spirits in some way or another.

    I started with the ten Archangels of the Sephiroth, because I was coming out of a primarily-QBListic background. After Working with the spirits for a little while, I realized that the Archangels of the seven classical planets were sufficient for my initial stages of the Work. Through them, I learned an incredible amount of knowledge. Their influence on my sphere changed the way I am able to see the world. Nothing spectacular (no auras, second-sight, remote viewing, psychic flashes per se), but totally and completely life-changing. The procedures for working with the spirits of the planets can be found in the Modern Angelic Grimore I wrote. It’s remarkably easy.

    In addition to the spirits of the planets, the spirits of the elements are also worked with in performing the Great Work. These spirits rule over the physical manifestations of the rays of the higher spheres. A fire elemental might be put in charge of manifesting a Jupiter ray into someone’s life, resulting in an unexpected and tumultuous promotion at work. For mundane operations, I’m learning these are the best spirits to work with in the overall hierarchy of spirits.

    The spirits of various grimoires are also worked with in the Great Work. The spirits of the Goetia in the Lemegetton, for example, can be considered to be “earth-bound” spirits, that is, residing closer to the material realms than to the heavenly realms. These entities have been documented and worked with by many magicians, and the methods of contacting them are recorded and pretty clear. Their attributes are documented, and once contacted, their abilities and limitations can be discovered simply by asking the spirit itself.

    1.5.3 – The Goal of the Great Work in the NP System

    You’ve no doubt noticed that the Work consists of both the spirits of the higher realms and the spirits of the lower realms. If the Great Work were all about transcending the material realm, there would be no reason to work with the lower spirits. The fact is, however, that we aren’t born in the flesh to transcend it. We are here to learn our role, and then to exercise our authority to meet our obligations.

    Humanity is the nexus point between the material realm and the spiritual realm. We are the stewards of the manifest realms. In the NP system, we stand at the gateway between the realms, seeking union with the divine in order to fulfill our assigned tasks while we appear to be separated from God, and directing the forces that manifest as reality according to the Will of God. We learn this Will by going up through the hierarchies and learning our place in existence, and then we implement the plans through the direction of the spirits. The higher up you go, the more responsibility you get, and the more Work in the physical realm you’ll have to accomplish.

    The Goal of the great Work is not to leave the flesh and material realms behind. We do that when we die anyway. The Goal is to find your place in the scheme of things, your reason for being, and in finding that, you gain the ability and authority to accomplish it. The accomplishment of the purpose is the practical manifestation of the Great Work.

  • A Quick Note on “Dishonoring” the Things of the Lower Realms

    In the last post, I mentioned that Plotinus says that you are to honor the things of the higher realms and dishonor the things of the lower realm to remember your race and value. While I was speaking literally, I didn't get into detail about what that meant.

    It doesn't mean that you treat the things of the material realm badly. I don't think Plotinus intended it that way at all. Later mystical interpretations would take that stance, as seen in some Gnostic asceticism, and in the foundation of what's become modern Christianity, but that's not what I think he was saying.

    Honoring something means to bestow honors on it, to treat it with respect. You honor a spirit by lighting candles to it. You honor your mother and father by treating them well and taking care of them when they are old. You honor your employer by doing the right work at the right time.

    In Plotinus' Enneads, he wasn't saying to dishonor material things in an active way, but to literally not-honor the things of the material realm above the things of the higher realms closer to "the good."

    Honoring the higher realms would naturally result in a better understanding of the material things. As you learn their proper place in existence, you treat them with the respect that they deserve. Not with disrespect, but with appropriate respect.

  • The Far-Reaching Aspects of Mars

    Earlier today I made a Mars talisman, and then did some work with my HGA and the Sun, and I’m still flying a bit. Post-coital bliss, in a way.

    But while it’s all still fresh, I want to share a bit on the aspects of Mars-in-Sagittarius.

    I had a long history of inappropriate displays of Martial energies. Especially when I got angry. I’m a Taurus, and all the stereotypical images that pop into mind when you think of a bull seeing red applied to me when I lost my temper. I’d snort, rant and rave, crush everything that stood in my way, and then when I calmed down, I was left to deal with the mess I’d made.

    As a result, I was a bit wary in working with Mars. I didn’t want to have any Martial energy coming into my sphere and triggering some kind of outburst. At the same time, I was eager to get that sphere integrated into my own, so it wouldn’t manifest destructively. The solution, of course, is to work with the powers of Mars through the auspices of the HGA. Which I did do today.

    I started with Kammael, archangel of Mars. I did a simple conjuration with my HGA and asked it to integrate the energies of Mars into my sphere. No problem, it said, and I began to behave more judiciously in my actions. That was neat. I also began to see conflict differently, whether in the wars in the middle east, or the politics in the workplace. I also began to stand up for things that I had earned, but in a diplomatic way.

    Today I made a talisman of mars to use in my Table of Practice. I carved the Table of Mars from Agrippa’s Book 3 on one side of a sheet of steel coated in tin. On the other side, I carved the symbol of Mars and the seals of the Intelligence and Spirit of Mars. It was similar to one I had made on paper a few months ago when Mars was in Scorpio. that talisman was made to use in vengeance-focused rituals. This one is designed to take advantage of Mars in Sagittarius, that is, using force, justice, and appropriate violence to make a better future. Mars is also well-aspected by Jupiter today, so there’s an aspect of using violence under authority to accomplish necessary actions to build a brighter future. Al in all, a very useful talisman.

    After making the talisman, I went on to make a talisman of the Sun, this one more of a lamen of Michael. While I was doing that, the powers of the sphere of Mars were still bouncing around in my sphere. My HGA and Michael used the time that I was focusing on drawing the seal to commune with me and reveal some aspects of the powers of Mars I hadn’t recognized before.

    Kammael, the archangel of Mars, is constantly monitoring me, directing the energies of Mars into my sphere at the levels that I require at any given time. Usually this is slight, but lately he’s been TRYING to get my attention. There’s been some spiritual business that I’ve been ignoring because it could easily reveal more character flaws in my self that I really would rather avoid dealing with.

    So I’ve been irritable, mean-spirited, and generally argumentative. I see attacks where there are none, and I feel under pressure. After working with the spirits today, I can see where I need to direct the martial force in my life, and I feel totally psyched about it. Instead of seeming like a bother or something to avoid, it seems like a challenge. The thrill of victory is right around the corner.

    That, I think, is the lesson I’m walking away with. There’s more going on than a lesson from the spirits, of course, but this is a blog, after all, and the words are all I have to put it into in this particular forum. The point I learned today about the powers of Mars is that they empower you to achieve victory in any circumstance, not just for violence or revenge, but for Success. All the things you read about successful business plans, successful family management, successful parenting, all these things are aspects of the powers of Mars. Victory.

  • The Far-Reaching Aspects of Mars

    Earlier today I made a Mars talisman, and then did some work with my HGA and the Sun, and I’m still flying a bit. Post-coital bliss, in a way.

    But while it’s all still fresh, I want to share a bit on the aspects of Mars-in-Sagittarius.

    I had a long history of inappropriate displays of Martial energies. Especially when I got angry. I’m a Taurus, and all the stereotypical images that pop into mind when you think of a bull seeing red applied to me when I lost my temper. I’d snort, rant and rave, crush everything that stood in my way, and then when I calmed down, I was left to deal with the mess I’d made.

    As a result, I was a bit wary in working with Mars. I didn’t want to have any Martial energy coming into my sphere and triggering some kind of outburst. At the same time, I was eager to get that sphere integrated into my own, so it wouldn’t manifest destructively. The solution, of course, is to work with the powers of Mars through the auspices of the HGA. Which I did do today.

    I started with Kammael, archangel of Mars. I did a simple conjuration with my HGA and asked it to integrate the energies of Mars into my sphere. No problem, it said, and I began to behave more judiciously in my actions. That was neat. I also began to see conflict differently, whether in the wars in the middle east, or the politics in the workplace. I also began to stand up for things that I had earned, but in a diplomatic way.

    Today I made a talisman of mars to use in my Table of Practice. I carved the Table of Mars from Agrippa’s Book 3 on one side of a sheet of steel coated in tin. On the other side, I carved the symbol of Mars and the seals of the Intelligence and Spirit of Mars. It was similar to one I had made on paper a few months ago when Mars was in Scorpio. that talisman was made to use in vengeance-focused rituals. This one is designed to take advantage of Mars in Sagittarius, that is, using force, justice, and appropriate violence to make a better future. Mars is also well-aspected by Jupiter today, so there’s an aspect of using violence under authority to accomplish necessary actions to build a brighter future. Al in all, a very useful talisman.

    After making the talisman, I went on to make a talisman of the Sun, this one more of a lamen of Michael. While I was doing that, the powers of the sphere of Mars were still bouncing around in my sphere. My HGA and Michael used the time that I was focusing on drawing the seal to commune with me and reveal some aspects of the powers of Mars I hadn’t recognized before.

    Kammael, the archangel of Mars, is constantly monitoring me, directing the energies of Mars into my sphere at the levels that I require at any given time. Usually this is slight, but lately he’s been TRYING to get my attention. There’s been some spiritual business that I’ve been ignoring because it could easily reveal more character flaws in my self that I really would rather avoid dealing with.

    So I’ve been irritable, mean-spirited, and generally argumentative. I see attacks where there are none, and I feel under pressure. After working with the spirits today, I can see where I need to direct the martial force in my life, and I feel totally psyched about it. Instead of seeming like a bother or something to avoid, it seems like a challenge. The thrill of victory is right around the corner.

    That, I think, is the lesson I’m walking away with. There’s more going on than a lesson from the spirits, of course, but this is a blog, after all, and the words are all I have to put it into in this particular forum. The point I learned today about the powers of Mars is that they empower you to achieve victory in any circumstance, not just for violence or revenge, but for Success. All the things you read about successful business plans, successful family management, successful parenting, all these things are aspects of the powers of Mars. Victory.

  • Advice to Aspiring Magicians

    When asked for advice from an aspiring artist, H. R. Giger’s agent wrote an excellent reply. It can be found under the last entry, scroll down towards the bottom.

    Aspirants to the Great Work would do well to interpret this and apply it to their own lives. Myself especially. 🙂

    http://www.hrgiger.com/faq.htm

  • Dealing with the Guf – Reclaiming Moments of Horror

    The Guf is the lowest form of soul in some kabbalistic cosmologies. It consists of the actual body we wrap ourselves in. The word “guf” is the source of the English word “goofy,” so you can get an idea of how this soul is viewed in the cosmology of things.

    I was talking to a friend today about the horrifyingly embarrassing moments that crop up in my mind as I’m falling asleep, eliciting an audible groan or whimper. I was relieved to know that I’m not the only one that experiences these things, but that doesn’t really help get rid of the horror that still comes when I remember these kinds of events.

    The best example I have is when I went down to the end of a shooting range to hang a paper target, and the drill sergeant guy yelled “CEASE FIRE!!!!” at the top of his considerable lungs to get everyone else (who were still shooting) to take a break so I didn’t get killed. Everyone looked over at me, and I’m standing there like an idiot where about thirty people were shooting. Not a happy moment.

    What gets me is that this happened almost a decade ago, and to this day, I groan out loud remembering it. I’ve tried to “reclaim” that part of my brain to get rid of this response. Kraig has a retroactive magick section (I think) in his Modern Magick book, and I tried that. I tried going back and reliving the moment in my mind, trying to replace it with a different memory. I’ve tried rationalizing that I’d never been to a shooting range before, I was at the far end of the shooting range, and everyone else was at the other side, where I had assumed they wouldn’t shoot me… but nothing’s worked. It’s always in that light hypnogoguic state between waking and sleeping that I remember standing there in the crisp autumn wind with a crowd made up of fathers and sons and war vets looking at me like I was Forrest, Forrest Gump.

    My friend suggested that we can’t forget this kind of thing for a reason, that it serves some purpose. I can see how it can aid survival to never forget how stupid it is to steal a dinosaur’s egg while you think the thing is sleeping, but this was just embarrassing. Socially embarrassing. Sure, we’re pack animals, and it’s required to not do something stupid in public to not get ostracized… but that’s stretching it a bit.

    So on a seemingly unrelated tangent, I was reading through Plotinus’ Fifth Ennead. Not too far in, it says:

    “A double discipline must be applied if human beings in this pass are to be reclaimed, and brought back to their origins, lifted once more towards the Supreme and One and First.”

    “Reclaimed” jumped out at me. I had literally just been talking about reclaiming, so looking for an answer to this question, I read on…

    “There is the method, which we amply exhibit elsewhere, declaring the dishonour of the objects which the Soul holds here in honour; the second teaches or recalls to the soul its race and worth; this latter is the leading truth, and, clearly brought out, is the evidence of the other.”

    So there are two disciplines required to accomplish the returning to the Source, God, which sums up Plotinus’ idea of what I think of as the Great Work. The discipline of stating the dishonour of things the Soul holds dear here, and the remembrance of the race and worth of the Soul.

    Respect of others is what my Guf-Soul holds dear, so dear that an embarrassing moment haunts me for years, permanently ingrained in my neural paths. Dishonouring the “need for respect from others,” (hmmm, pride, perhaps?) isn’t too difficult. I recognize that the opinions of those rednecks at that moment aren’t really that important.

    Teaching the Soul its race and worth though… How does this apply in the context of a mortifying memory? The Soul in the Guf at that moment was of God and was God. The value of that Soul is inestimable. How can teaching the Soul its race and value make the horror of that moment go away?

    I don’t have an answer, but I do know that I was particularly Guf-ey that day. I’ll be holding these two things together in my mind as I remember what happened, and see what comes of it. Educating the Guf as to its value and source may indeed be the key to getting rid of that disgusting horror.

  • Dealing with the Guf – Reclaiming Moments of Horror

    The Guf is the lowest form of soul in some kabbalistic cosmologies. It consists of the actual body we wrap ourselves in. The word “guf” is the source of the English word “goofy,” so you can get an idea of how this soul is viewed in the cosmology of things.

    I was talking to a friend today about the horrifyingly embarrassing moments that crop up in my mind as I’m falling asleep, eliciting an audible groan or whimper. I was relieved to know that I’m not the only one that experiences these things, but that doesn’t really help get rid of the horror that still comes when I remember these kinds of events.

    The best example I have is when I went down to the end of a shooting range to hang a paper target, and the drill sergeant guy yelled “CEASE FIRE!!!!” at the top of his considerable lungs to get everyone else (who were still shooting) to take a break so I didn’t get killed. Everyone looked over at me, and I’m standing there like an idiot where about thirty people were shooting. Not a happy moment.

    What gets me is that this happened almost a decade ago, and to this day, I groan out loud remembering it. I’ve tried to “reclaim” that part of my brain to get rid of this response. Kraig has a retroactive magick section (I think) in his Modern Magick book, and I tried that. I tried going back and reliving the moment in my mind, trying to replace it with a different memory. I’ve tried rationalizing that I’d never been to a shooting range before, I was at the far end of the shooting range, and everyone else was at the other side, where I had assumed they wouldn’t shoot me… but nothing’s worked. It’s always in that light hypnogoguic state between waking and sleeping that I remember standing there in the crisp autumn wind with a crowd made up of fathers and sons and war vets looking at me like I was Forrest, Forrest Gump.

    My friend suggested that we can’t forget this kind of thing for a reason, that it serves some purpose. I can see how it can aid survival to never forget how stupid it is to steal a dinosaur’s egg while you think the thing is sleeping, but this was just embarrassing. Socially embarrassing. Sure, we’re pack animals, and it’s required to not do something stupid in public to not get ostracized… but that’s stretching it a bit.

    So on a seemingly unrelated tangent, I was reading through Plotinus’ Fifth Ennead. Not too far in, it says:

    “A double discipline must be applied if human beings in this pass are to be reclaimed, and brought back to their origins, lifted once more towards the Supreme and One and First.”

    “Reclaimed” jumped out at me. I had literally just been talking about reclaiming, so looking for an answer to this question, I read on…

    “There is the method, which we amply exhibit elsewhere, declaring the dishonour of the objects which the Soul holds here in honour; the second teaches or recalls to the soul its race and worth; this latter is the leading truth, and, clearly brought out, is the evidence of the other.”

    So there are two disciplines required to accomplish the returning to the Source, God, which sums up Plotinus’ idea of what I think of as the Great Work. The discipline of stating the dishonour of things the Soul holds dear here, and the remembrance of the race and worth of the Soul.

    Respect of others is what my Guf-Soul holds dear, so dear that an embarrassing moment haunts me for years, permanently ingrained in my neural paths. Dishonouring the “need for respect from others,” (hmmm, pride, perhaps?) isn’t too difficult. I recognize that the opinions of those rednecks at that moment aren’t really that important.

    Teaching the Soul its race and worth though… How does this apply in the context of a mortifying memory? The Soul in the Guf at that moment was of God and was God. The value of that Soul is inestimable. How can teaching the Soul its race and value make the horror of that moment go away?

    I don’t have an answer, but I do know that I was particularly Guf-ey that day. I’ll be holding these two things together in my mind as I remember what happened, and see what comes of it. Educating the Guf as to its value and source may indeed be the key to getting rid of that disgusting horror.

  • Dealing with the Guf – Reclaiming Moments of Horror

    The Guf is the lowest form of soul in some kabbalistic cosmologies. It consists of the actual body we wrap ourselves in. The word “guf” is the source of the English word “goofy,” so you can get an idea of how this soul is viewed in the cosmology of things.

    I was talking to a friend today about the horrifyingly embarrassing moments that crop up in my mind as I’m falling asleep, eliciting an audible groan or whimper. I was relieved to know that I’m not the only one that experiences these things, but that doesn’t really help get rid of the horror that still comes when I remember these kinds of events.

    The best example I have is when I went down to the end of a shooting range to hang a paper target, and the drill sergeant guy yelled “CEASE FIRE!!!!” at the top of his considerable lungs to get everyone else (who were still shooting) to take a break so I didn’t get killed. Everyone looked over at me, and I’m standing there like an idiot where about thirty people were shooting. Not a happy moment.

    What gets me is that this happened almost a decade ago, and to this day, I groan out loud remembering it. I’ve tried to “reclaim” that part of my brain to get rid of this response. Kraig has a retroactive magick section (I think) in his Modern Magick book, and I tried that. I tried going back and reliving the moment in my mind, trying to replace it with a different memory. I’ve tried rationalizing that I’d never been to a shooting range before, I was at the far end of the shooting range, and everyone else was at the other side, where I had assumed they wouldn’t shoot me… but nothing’s worked. It’s always in that light hypnogoguic state between waking and sleeping that I remember standing there in the crisp autumn wind with a crowd made up of fathers and sons and war vets looking at me like I was Forrest, Forrest Gump.

    My friend suggested that we can’t forget this kind of thing for a reason, that it serves some purpose. I can see how it can aid survival to never forget how stupid it is to steal a dinosaur’s egg while you think the thing is sleeping, but this was just embarrassing. Socially embarrassing. Sure, we’re pack animals, and it’s required to not do something stupid in public to not get ostracized… but that’s stretching it a bit.

    So on a seemingly unrelated tangent, I was reading through Plotinus’ Fifth Ennead. Not too far in, it says:

    “A double discipline must be applied if human beings in this pass are to be reclaimed, and brought back to their origins, lifted once more towards the Supreme and One and First.”

    “Reclaimed” jumped out at me. I had literally just been talking about reclaiming, so looking for an answer to this question, I read on…

    “There is the method, which we amply exhibit elsewhere, declaring the dishonour of the objects which the Soul holds here in honour; the second teaches or recalls to the soul its race and worth; this latter is the leading truth, and, clearly brought out, is the evidence of the other.”

    So there are two disciplines required to accomplish the returning to the Source, God, which sums up Plotinus’ idea of what I think of as the Great Work. The discipline of stating the dishonour of things the Soul holds dear here, and the remembrance of the race and worth of the Soul.

    Respect of others is what my Guf-Soul holds dear, so dear that an embarrassing moment haunts me for years, permanently ingrained in my neural paths. Dishonouring the “need for respect from others,” (hmmm, pride, perhaps?) isn’t too difficult. I recognize that the opinions of those rednecks at that moment aren’t really that important.

    Teaching the Soul its race and worth though… How does this apply in the context of a mortifying memory? The Soul in the Guf at that moment was of God and was God. The value of that Soul is inestimable. How can teaching the Soul its race and value make the horror of that moment go away?

    I don’t have an answer, but I do know that I was particularly Guf-ey that day. I’ll be holding these two things together in my mind as I remember what happened, and see what comes of it. Educating the Guf as to its value and source may indeed be the key to getting rid of that disgusting horror.

  • Dealing with the Guf – Reclaiming Moments of Horror

    The Guf is the lowest form of soul in some kabbalistic cosmologies. It consists of the actual body we wrap ourselves in. The word “guf” is the source of the English word “goofy,” so you can get an idea of how this soul is viewed in the cosmology of things.

    I was talking to a friend today about the horrifyingly embarrassing moments that crop up in my mind as I’m falling asleep, eliciting an audible groan or whimper. I was relieved to know that I’m not the only one that experiences these things, but that doesn’t really help get rid of the horror that still comes when I remember these kinds of events.

    The best example I have is when I went down to the end of a shooting range to hang a paper target, and the drill sergeant guy yelled “CEASE FIRE!!!!” at the top of his considerable lungs to get everyone else (who were still shooting) to take a break so I didn’t get killed. Everyone looked over at me, and I’m standing there like an idiot where about thirty people were shooting. Not a happy moment.

    What gets me is that this happened almost a decade ago, and to this day, I groan out loud remembering it. I’ve tried to “reclaim” that part of my brain to get rid of this response. Kraig has a retroactive magick section (I think) in his Modern Magick book, and I tried that. I tried going back and reliving the moment in my mind, trying to replace it with a different memory. I’ve tried rationalizing that I’d never been to a shooting range before, I was at the far end of the shooting range, and everyone else was at the other side, where I had assumed they wouldn’t shoot me… but nothing’s worked. It’s always in that light hypnogoguic state between waking and sleeping that I remember standing there in the crisp autumn wind with a crowd made up of fathers and sons and war vets looking at me like I was Forrest, Forrest Gump.

    My friend suggested that we can’t forget this kind of thing for a reason, that it serves some purpose. I can see how it can aid survival to never forget how stupid it is to steal a dinosaur’s egg while you think the thing is sleeping, but this was just embarrassing. Socially embarrassing. Sure, we’re pack animals, and it’s required to not do something stupid in public to not get ostracized… but that’s stretching it a bit.

    So on a seemingly unrelated tangent, I was reading through Plotinus’ Fifth Ennead. Not too far in, it says:

    “A double discipline must be applied if human beings in this pass are to be reclaimed, and brought back to their origins, lifted once more towards the Supreme and One and First.”

    “Reclaimed” jumped out at me. I had literally just been talking about reclaiming, so looking for an answer to this question, I read on…

    “There is the method, which we amply exhibit elsewhere, declaring the dishonour of the objects which the Soul holds here in honour; the second teaches or recalls to the soul its race and worth; this latter is the leading truth, and, clearly brought out, is the evidence of the other.”

    So there are two disciplines required to accomplish the returning to the Source, God, which sums up Plotinus’ idea of what I think of as the Great Work. The discipline of stating the dishonour of things the Soul holds dear here, and the remembrance of the race and worth of the Soul.

    Respect of others is what my Guf-Soul holds dear, so dear that an embarrassing moment haunts me for years, permanently ingrained in my neural paths. Dishonouring the “need for respect from others,” (hmmm, pride, perhaps?) isn’t too difficult. I recognize that the opinions of those rednecks at that moment aren’t really that important.

    Teaching the Soul its race and worth though… How does this apply in the context of a mortifying memory? The Soul in the Guf at that moment was of God and was God. The value of that Soul is inestimable. How can teaching the Soul its race and value make the horror of that moment go away?

    I don’t have an answer, but I do know that I was particularly Guf-ey that day. I’ll be holding these two things together in my mind as I remember what happened, and see what comes of it. Educating the Guf as to its value and source may indeed be the key to getting rid of that disgusting horror.