Out of the Drama, Death.

Ok, I’m not a Latin scholar. Canum Latinum, that’s the best I can do with my current skill sets. Maybe Ill get the Rosetta stone software for Latin. In the mean time…

Out of Drama, Death.

So I went from being bored with lists to starting shit on them. I got a moderator warning. And the mod totally likes me, too. She’s put up with my shit for years, and when I get a mod warning from her, I know it’s usually warranted. So I check myself.

This time, I was already aware that something was off, but I hadn’t really done anything about it. Do you get like that? You know there’s something “off” in your sphere or alembic or whatever your metaphor for your spiritual existence, but you don’t bother with figuring out what it is right away because your really just don’t feel like it?

That happens to me more often than I like. So what’s going on? I haven’t done anything lately that I don’t usually do. I’ve been slipping in my ascension through the spheres. There’s been nothing new to report in any of the spheres for months, it seems. Like I ask the archangel of the sphere if there’s anything I need to work on, and it’s like, no, and I’m all, thanks, please continue to integrate the forces of your sphere into mine, and he’s like, yeah ok, and I’m off to the next sphere. Same old same old.

Plus there’s been a slew of 12-year-olds in the house for the last month as my daughter has started making friends around here after a year. They’re fun, alive, full of life and potential, and annoying as shit. AND they eat a lot. I can’t keep a bag of cheesy poofs around to save my life.

I spent a couple of weeks fixing my spirit pot with Venus-based herbs. Bune’s been enjoying it, and I have an opportunity to double my income that manifested a couple days after adjusting the contents of the pot.

I’ve also been developing an interest in crystal skulls. More on that in a bit.

Let’s see, there’s been a horrible astrological conjunction for the last couple of weeks too. Saturn and Mars have been conjunct in Virgo for a while. That’s a lot of heavy, malefic energy pouring down on us. Venus and Mercury have been combust as well.

So basically, I’m just hitting a “plateau.” You know, like a mountain, but with a flat top. It goes from a steep climb that takes a lot f focus to a flat, plain expanse that doesn’t take hardly any effort to traverse, and nothing really happens. You can see for miles if anything’s approaching, and… it can be rather boring if you’re more interested in climbing.

The maintenance phase of the Work in between the times when you do something major are like plateaus. Lots of magicians stop at a plateau. The daily grind distracts them from the Work because nothing’s really going on, and they get frustrated, so they start making drama for themselves to have something interesting going on.

And that’s what I’ve been doing. The way I see it, creating drama is a negative means of providing entertainment. It doesn’t get me closer to God. I don’t find myself sharing anything particularly useful to anyone by being a contentious bitch. I’m not putting my energies into purifying anything by starting shit on lists, that’s for sure.

So after taking a quick inventory, I changed tactics. Instead of just starting shit, I decided to actually talk about things of substance. Instead of grumping around, I’ve found an interesting side project to occupy my time. It doesn’t take any specialized knowledge that I haven’t already got, it’s just putting the techniques I’ve developed to date into practice in another realm. I’m monitoring my internal feelings too, to see how I’m doing, and why I might be feeling pissy in each moment that I feel pissy. It’s been an interesting exercise so far, and I’ve only been doing it for a day.

It boils down to reacting to how I feel vs. creating a scene that makes me feel a particular way. I don’t like being a bitchy magician. I don’t like it a bit. So I seek my pleasure, and that comes from being what I really am, a manifestation of God, taking part in the creation of the World. It’s a great attitude adjustment. Remembering your race and value, that you are of the divine Race (REGARDLESS OF SKIN COLOR), and your Value is determined by whether you’re actively participating in Creation or not.

So out of Drama, Death. Death is change, mortification, decomposition, and breaking down the useless shells into something fecund, nutrient-rich, and pathogen free that will make the flowers grow. Or the Oak, or the corn, or whatever you plant in it. Even a Rose. The bitchy pissy magician must die, be digested, and refined for the next stage of the Work.

In keeping with the theme from yesterday, I’d like to talk about one of the things I muse about. Why my magic is more successful than other people’s.

I know, it sounds damned conceited. It’s not my fault. Everything I’ve tried to do with magic has had some kind of result. I read on message boards that people have done magic and had “no result,” and either I’m special, or they’re doing something differently. (“Differently” is a nice way for me to say they’re doing it wrong, but I’m really trying to be nice because I pissed people off with the Fuck George Carlin post. Those sensitive little [expletives deleted] mean a lot to me.)

Please note, I’m NOT referencing Jason’s blog or experiences any more in this post. He just got this thought train aimed in the direction it’s going in. I’m not saying my magic is better than Jason’s, and I want to make sure that’s not how this comes across. He’s got a lot more experience and successes under his belt than I do, and I’ve got nothing but respect for him.

Yesterday I touched on one aspect of why I don’t consider a ritual complete until I’ve succeeded, and how that makes for fewer “failures,” per se, but today I’d like to point out something else that can make some folks uncomfortable. But don’t freak out.

One of the things that makes my magic so effective, in my own most humble opinion, is that I am a Christian magician. Most of the Magic I do is based on some form of the Christian Neoplatonic systems that Agrippa recorded in his Three Books of Occult Philosophy. That makes it pretty easy. I also have several assurances from God, the ultimate creator of the physical and spiritual spheres, that I don’t have to worry about making my magic work; he does it for me.

And the thing is, he does it for everyone, every human being made in his image, if that person wants him to. Just get to now God a bit, spend time in his presence. Feel him, know that you are his child, an emanation from him in his own image, created to spend eternity with. Remember your race and your value to God. It’s worth the time spent.

And don’t worry about Christianity or Judaism, or Zen states, just pour your heart out into meeting your Source, your Creator, the Prime Mover, the All-Seeing eye, whatever. Get to know him, and let him guide you. He’ll guide you to your HGA, he’ll guide you to the things you have to do before you die. He’s totally cool to hang out with. He never eats all the Cheetos.

And he won’t let any word fall to the ground without it bearing much fruit. He tells the seeds to bloom, sort of, indirectly, and he makes sure that your words will bear much fruit too.

Oh yeah, He expects you to think before you say stupid shit.

Ahh, the waxing moon. Maybe I’m just superstitious, I don’t know, but I certainly do feel better in general. With Mercury going Direct in the same week, I feel pretty good about things in general.

This week, I plan to work with each of the archangels of the planets in their appropriate hour on their appropriate day. The goal is to achieve better balance and integration of the energies of the spheres. I’ve spent the last month or so obsessing with Jupiter and its denizens in the different worlds, and I got to a point where everything I saw was related to money. I’m pretty sure my pupils had become dollar signs.

Many thanks to the people who have pointed this annoying trait out to me. The point of my work is to head towards the Red Work after all. So to get myself back on track, I’ve embarked on this particular course of action. I began Friday with a discussion with my HGA, and then last night worked with Tzaphkiel to integrate the energies of Saturn into my sphere. Later today I’ll be working with Michael to integrate the energies of the Sun.

This week, expect to see posts of the results of my Works.

I’ve begun the somewhat painstaking process of writing out the events that lead to the creation of my spirit pot, the details of making it, and the results. Maybe it’ll turn into an actual published manuscript. Time will tell.

Jason Miller’s got a neat post about his recent experiences with St. Expedite. One of the things that caught my interest is that in his blog post, Jason mentions that he suspected the work was failing when it began to seem like he had been hit with a prosperity spell. He says:

I had all the signs of a prosperity spell being cast on myself, which could mean one of two things:

1. Just from working with that kind of mojo, I picked up some good juju.

or, more likely…

2. The Saint could not accomplish his task so all the energy was just zinging around like a stream of water hitting a wall.

I haven’t had anything like that happen, and I’m jealous. I want a ritual to not work and result in me getting prosperity too! Is that so wrong?

I don’t know of any rituals I’ve done that haven’t worked. Lots haven’t worked the way I expected at all, but I’ve always had some kind of result. Sometimes they try, but the spirits just aren’t of the proper type to address the problem you sent it to deal with. Some Venus spirits are great at delivering riches. Others are not. Haniel won’t necessarily make you rich, but if you try and it fails, you can ask him which Venus spirits would be better for this kind of thing.

Maybe my problem is that I don’t think of that as a failed ritual. I consider it an incomplete ritual. Every rite I’ve done has lead me to new rites, and a single ritual rapidly becomes an ongoing project, like the Bune spirit pot thing.