If I see one more email thread mentioning how wonderful George Carlin was, I’m gonna be sick. He was a self-righteous, lazy pompous arrogant windbag, and guess what? He personally hated you and everyone else that sends out all these “the world is a worse place without you, George” emails, as if he isn’t like, “Fuck you, I got out and you’re stuck in, and I made it without offing myself, by the skin of my teeth some nights when it was me and Jack Daniels in a seedy motel near the local gig that barely covered the motel and the gas, but I made it, and if I didn’t mention it, fuck you.”

I want to grab everyone who loves George Carlin and take a fucking minute to remind you:

EVERYTHING HE POINTED OUT THAT WAS WRONG WITH THE WORLD, HE BLAMED YOU PERSONALLY FOR BECAUSE HE SAID YOU WERE A STUPID FUCKTARD WHO DOESN’T DO SHIT TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

And I agree. Why not? It’s a lot easier to sit around and declare the world a shitty place and blame everyone that’s just trying to get by until they die than it is to actually DO SOMETHING to make it a better place.

George Carlin made a business out of saying things that every twenty-something has said at Perkins, Denny’s, or whatever 24 hour cafe that serves cheap coffee have said for years. He wasn’t original, or even particularly unique. He was a bitter asshole. And he’s dead. That’s the epitaph he deserves.

Get over it.

If I see one more email thread mentioning how wonderful George Carlin was, I’m gonna be sick. He was a self-righteous, lazy pompous arrogant windbag, and guess what? He personally hated you and everyone else that sends out all these “the world is a worse place without you, George” emails, as if he isn’t like, “Fuck you, I got out and you’re stuck in, and I made it without offing myself, by the skin of my teeth some nights when it was me and Jack Daniels in a seedy motel near the local gig that barely covered the motel and the gas, but I made it, and if I didn’t mention it, fuck you.”

I want to grab everyone who loves George Carlin and take a fucking minute to remind you:

EVERYTHING HE POINTED OUT THAT WAS WRONG WITH THE WORLD, HE BLAMED YOU PERSONALLY FOR BECAUSE HE SAID YOU WERE A STUPID FUCKTARD WHO DOESN’T DO SHIT TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

And I agree. Why not? It’s a lot easier to sit around and declare the world a shitty place and blame everyone that’s just trying to get by until they die than it is to actually DO SOMETHING to make it a better place.

George Carlin made a business out of saying things that every twenty-something has said at Perkins, Denny’s, or whatever 24 hour cafe that serves cheap coffee have said for years. He wasn’t original, or even particularly unique. He was a bitter asshole. And he’s dead. That’s the epitaph he deserves.

Get over it.

Bokonon23 left a comment that he wanted to know more about calculating the correct correspondences for Goetic entities, so here’s a little more detail on the subject.

I used 777, the correspondence chart developed by Aleister Crowley (from Alan Bennet’s notes, probably) when he was still a member in good standing in the Golden Dawn. This correspondence chart was published in 1909, and reflects the Golden Dawn attributions to magickal subjects.

To use 777 effectively, you must understand how information is presented in a spreadsheet or table. “Columns” are the vertical data sets, and “Rows” are the horizontal data sets. The first column is the “key scale,” the number that will provide the common reference point for all other columns of data in the table. There are 35 rows of data, and 183 columns of corresponding attributes, items, angels, god names, goetic entities, plants, perfumes, etc. This compendium of information is extremely useful to magicians of all types.

To find the correspondences of a particular Goetic entity, first find the entity in the columns of goetic spirits (Columns CLV-CLXV, or pages 27-28 [printed page numbers] / 36-37 [pdf page numbers]). Bune/Bime is found to correspond to Key Scale 25.

Knowing the spirit is associated with Key Scale 25, I then went through the other columns in the table to get an idea of what correspondences related to Bune. All the information in the row labeled 25 had some relation to Bune. Since I was making a physical pot, I paid special attention to the physical items associated with Key Scale 25, the plants, the incenses, and the magickal weapon. I also checked the color charts for selecting the appropriate colored candles to use as offerings for the spirit. Since I am primarily interested in physical results, I used the color charts associated with the material realm, Assiah, which is called the Empress Scale in the Golden Dawn.

I had the fortune of meeting Witchdoctor Joe on a Fresno Magical list run by Frater Bone Head, also known as Fr. POS, who authors the “Doing Magic” blog. Joe’s a former Native American pipe carrier, a Wiccan-ish guy, and he’s got an interest in the occult in general. He’s been blogging about the tarot lately, and I love his style. Some people write information using words, and others tell stories. Joe is definitely a story teller.

For those interested, his blog is here:

http://witchdoctorjoe.blogspot.com/

St. Faust is a peculiar breed of magician, the likes of which I’ve never run into before. His primary focus was chaos magic for a while, but it seems not to have driven him completely mad. He’s the one who tipped me off to the Coyote aspects of Tezcatlipoca. I find his perspective on things to be very interesting.

For those interested, his blog is here:

http://vonfaustus.blogspot.com/

Greetings faithful (and faithless hell-bound-heathen) readers! I should probably start a regular series of Captain Obvious posts. I do seem to make a lot of mistakes that in retrospect turn out to be pretty hard to have missed in the first place.

Today’s is a simple lesson I learned while Mercury was Retrograde.

I’ve had a rough Mercury Retrograde. It wasn’t too terribly bad with technological issues, but communications were sucky on many lists. And two or three times I got pissed at someone on a message board and wanted to curse them. :sigh:

After years of doing the Work now, at a pretty clipped pace, I’ve gotten to a point where I really take it for granted that I’m a sane, rational, and pretty emotionally well-balanced person. So when I found myself thoroughly ticked off at really stupid things, I was a little surprised. I conjured Kammael on a Tuesday to fix whatever was messed up in my Martial sphere, and things settled down quickly.

Anyway, I’ve learned a valuable lesson. I didn’t curse anyone, and instead behaved politely and respectfully, and apologized even, when I was wrong or at least rude about being right. And guess what? These people I wanted to “teach a lesson to” all turned out to be friendly when the dust settled.

Yes folks, that’s right! If you’re nice to people, they can be your friends!

Ok, so Captain Obvious gets a Sesame Street Lesson out of life. Only without the muppets.

Out of the Drama, Death.

Ok, I’m not a Latin scholar. Canum Latinum, that’s the best I can do with my current skill sets. Maybe Ill get the Rosetta stone software for Latin. In the mean time…

Out of Drama, Death.

So I went from being bored with lists to starting shit on them. I got a moderator warning. And the mod totally likes me, too. She’s put up with my shit for years, and when I get a mod warning from her, I know it’s usually warranted. So I check myself.

This time, I was already aware that something was off, but I hadn’t really done anything about it. Do you get like that? You know there’s something “off” in your sphere or alembic or whatever your metaphor for your spiritual existence, but you don’t bother with figuring out what it is right away because your really just don’t feel like it?

That happens to me more often than I like. So what’s going on? I haven’t done anything lately that I don’t usually do. I’ve been slipping in my ascension through the spheres. There’s been nothing new to report in any of the spheres for months, it seems. Like I ask the archangel of the sphere if there’s anything I need to work on, and it’s like, no, and I’m all, thanks, please continue to integrate the forces of your sphere into mine, and he’s like, yeah ok, and I’m off to the next sphere. Same old same old.

Plus there’s been a slew of 12-year-olds in the house for the last month as my daughter has started making friends around here after a year. They’re fun, alive, full of life and potential, and annoying as shit. AND they eat a lot. I can’t keep a bag of cheesy poofs around to save my life.

I spent a couple of weeks fixing my spirit pot with Venus-based herbs. Bune’s been enjoying it, and I have an opportunity to double my income that manifested a couple days after adjusting the contents of the pot.

I’ve also been developing an interest in crystal skulls. More on that in a bit.

Let’s see, there’s been a horrible astrological conjunction for the last couple of weeks too. Saturn and Mars have been conjunct in Virgo for a while. That’s a lot of heavy, malefic energy pouring down on us. Venus and Mercury have been combust as well.

So basically, I’m just hitting a “plateau.” You know, like a mountain, but with a flat top. It goes from a steep climb that takes a lot f focus to a flat, plain expanse that doesn’t take hardly any effort to traverse, and nothing really happens. You can see for miles if anything’s approaching, and… it can be rather boring if you’re more interested in climbing.

The maintenance phase of the Work in between the times when you do something major are like plateaus. Lots of magicians stop at a plateau. The daily grind distracts them from the Work because nothing’s really going on, and they get frustrated, so they start making drama for themselves to have something interesting going on.

And that’s what I’ve been doing. The way I see it, creating drama is a negative means of providing entertainment. It doesn’t get me closer to God. I don’t find myself sharing anything particularly useful to anyone by being a contentious bitch. I’m not putting my energies into purifying anything by starting shit on lists, that’s for sure.

So after taking a quick inventory, I changed tactics. Instead of just starting shit, I decided to actually talk about things of substance. Instead of grumping around, I’ve found an interesting side project to occupy my time. It doesn’t take any specialized knowledge that I haven’t already got, it’s just putting the techniques I’ve developed to date into practice in another realm. I’m monitoring my internal feelings too, to see how I’m doing, and why I might be feeling pissy in each moment that I feel pissy. It’s been an interesting exercise so far, and I’ve only been doing it for a day.

It boils down to reacting to how I feel vs. creating a scene that makes me feel a particular way. I don’t like being a bitchy magician. I don’t like it a bit. So I seek my pleasure, and that comes from being what I really am, a manifestation of God, taking part in the creation of the World. It’s a great attitude adjustment. Remembering your race and value, that you are of the divine Race (REGARDLESS OF SKIN COLOR), and your Value is determined by whether you’re actively participating in Creation or not.

So out of Drama, Death. Death is change, mortification, decomposition, and breaking down the useless shells into something fecund, nutrient-rich, and pathogen free that will make the flowers grow. Or the Oak, or the corn, or whatever you plant in it. Even a Rose. The bitchy pissy magician must die, be digested, and refined for the next stage of the Work.

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