If I see one more email thread mentioning how wonderful George Carlin was, I’m gonna be sick. He was a self-righteous, lazy pompous arrogant windbag, and guess what? He personally hated you and everyone else that sends out all these “the world is a worse place without you, George” emails, as if he isn’t like, “Fuck you, I got out and you’re stuck in, and I made it without offing myself, by the skin of my teeth some nights when it was me and Jack Daniels in a seedy motel near the local gig that barely covered the motel and the gas, but I made it, and if I didn’t mention it, fuck you.”

I want to grab everyone who loves George Carlin and take a fucking minute to remind you:

EVERYTHING HE POINTED OUT THAT WAS WRONG WITH THE WORLD, HE BLAMED YOU PERSONALLY FOR BECAUSE HE SAID YOU WERE A STUPID FUCKTARD WHO DOESN’T DO SHIT TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

And I agree. Why not? It’s a lot easier to sit around and declare the world a shitty place and blame everyone that’s just trying to get by until they die than it is to actually DO SOMETHING to make it a better place.

George Carlin made a business out of saying things that every twenty-something has said at Perkins, Denny’s, or whatever 24 hour cafe that serves cheap coffee have said for years. He wasn’t original, or even particularly unique. He was a bitter asshole. And he’s dead. That’s the epitaph he deserves.

Get over it.

If I see one more email thread mentioning how wonderful George Carlin was, I’m gonna be sick. He was a self-righteous, lazy pompous arrogant windbag, and guess what? He personally hated you and everyone else that sends out all these “the world is a worse place without you, George” emails, as if he isn’t like, “Fuck you, I got out and you’re stuck in, and I made it without offing myself, by the skin of my teeth some nights when it was me and Jack Daniels in a seedy motel near the local gig that barely covered the motel and the gas, but I made it, and if I didn’t mention it, fuck you.”

I want to grab everyone who loves George Carlin and take a fucking minute to remind you:

EVERYTHING HE POINTED OUT THAT WAS WRONG WITH THE WORLD, HE BLAMED YOU PERSONALLY FOR BECAUSE HE SAID YOU WERE A STUPID FUCKTARD WHO DOESN’T DO SHIT TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

And I agree. Why not? It’s a lot easier to sit around and declare the world a shitty place and blame everyone that’s just trying to get by until they die than it is to actually DO SOMETHING to make it a better place.

George Carlin made a business out of saying things that every twenty-something has said at Perkins, Denny’s, or whatever 24 hour cafe that serves cheap coffee have said for years. He wasn’t original, or even particularly unique. He was a bitter asshole. And he’s dead. That’s the epitaph he deserves.

Get over it.

Bokonon23 left a comment that he wanted to know more about calculating the correct correspondences for Goetic entities, so here’s a little more detail on the subject.

I used 777, the correspondence chart developed by Aleister Crowley (from Alan Bennet’s notes, probably) when he was still a member in good standing in the Golden Dawn. This correspondence chart was published in 1909, and reflects the Golden Dawn attributions to magickal subjects.

To use 777 effectively, you must understand how information is presented in a spreadsheet or table. “Columns” are the vertical data sets, and “Rows” are the horizontal data sets. The first column is the “key scale,” the number that will provide the common reference point for all other columns of data in the table. There are 35 rows of data, and 183 columns of corresponding attributes, items, angels, god names, goetic entities, plants, perfumes, etc. This compendium of information is extremely useful to magicians of all types.

To find the correspondences of a particular Goetic entity, first find the entity in the columns of goetic spirits (Columns CLV-CLXV, or pages 27-28 [printed page numbers] / 36-37 [pdf page numbers]). Bune/Bime is found to correspond to Key Scale 25.

Knowing the spirit is associated with Key Scale 25, I then went through the other columns in the table to get an idea of what correspondences related to Bune. All the information in the row labeled 25 had some relation to Bune. Since I was making a physical pot, I paid special attention to the physical items associated with Key Scale 25, the plants, the incenses, and the magickal weapon. I also checked the color charts for selecting the appropriate colored candles to use as offerings for the spirit. Since I am primarily interested in physical results, I used the color charts associated with the material realm, Assiah, which is called the Empress Scale in the Golden Dawn.

I had the fortune of meeting Witchdoctor Joe on a Fresno Magical list run by Frater Bone Head, also known as Fr. POS, who authors the “Doing Magic” blog. Joe’s a former Native American pipe carrier, a Wiccan-ish guy, and he’s got an interest in the occult in general. He’s been blogging about the tarot lately, and I love his style. Some people write information using words, and others tell stories. Joe is definitely a story teller.

For those interested, his blog is here:

http://witchdoctorjoe.blogspot.com/

St. Faust is a peculiar breed of magician, the likes of which I’ve never run into before. His primary focus was chaos magic for a while, but it seems not to have driven him completely mad. He’s the one who tipped me off to the Coyote aspects of Tezcatlipoca. I find his perspective on things to be very interesting.

For those interested, his blog is here:

http://vonfaustus.blogspot.com/

Greetings faithful (and faithless hell-bound-heathen) readers! I should probably start a regular series of Captain Obvious posts. I do seem to make a lot of mistakes that in retrospect turn out to be pretty hard to have missed in the first place.

Today’s is a simple lesson I learned while Mercury was Retrograde.

I’ve had a rough Mercury Retrograde. It wasn’t too terribly bad with technological issues, but communications were sucky on many lists. And two or three times I got pissed at someone on a message board and wanted to curse them. :sigh:

After years of doing the Work now, at a pretty clipped pace, I’ve gotten to a point where I really take it for granted that I’m a sane, rational, and pretty emotionally well-balanced person. So when I found myself thoroughly ticked off at really stupid things, I was a little surprised. I conjured Kammael on a Tuesday to fix whatever was messed up in my Martial sphere, and things settled down quickly.

Anyway, I’ve learned a valuable lesson. I didn’t curse anyone, and instead behaved politely and respectfully, and apologized even, when I was wrong or at least rude about being right. And guess what? These people I wanted to “teach a lesson to” all turned out to be friendly when the dust settled.

Yes folks, that’s right! If you’re nice to people, they can be your friends!

Ok, so Captain Obvious gets a Sesame Street Lesson out of life. Only without the muppets.

We interrupt the regularly scheduled nothing new or magically oriented topics brought to you by Head for the Red for the following important News Item:

Have you ever wondered why exactly the spirits are so helpful? For years I suspected there was some plot or conspiracy behind what was going on, from the GWB to the Illuminati. When I went through a fundy phase, I was convinced they were demons trying to lead me away from Christ (never mind that they all pointed me back to Christ anyway). In my secular human phase, I assumed the advanced technology of some members of society was being used to manipulate otherwise talented individuals to keep them from interfering with the plan for interdimensional control.

I think I’ve finally got it figured out. It has to do with their intrinsic nature. Each of these spirits is a self-conscious non-corporeal intelligence. It was created (or emmanated) in order to direct a current that influences manifest reality. For instance, Jupiter is an aspect of God that is assigned to dignities, prosperity, and offices of authority. Venus is an aspect of God that has influence over the domain of the heart. They each have a set of skills and talents that they’re really good at.

These spirits are helpful because that’s what they do. They want to spread love, or assign dignities. That’s what they exist for. While they have general work to do, every time a specific mage calls upon them or their representatives, they have the opportunity to work with another intelligent aspect of God that wants to communicate with them. It brings them joy.