Out of the Drama, Death.

Ok, I’m not a Latin scholar. Canum Latinum, that’s the best I can do with my current skill sets. Maybe Ill get the Rosetta stone software for Latin. In the mean time…

Out of Drama, Death.

So I went from being bored with lists to starting shit on them. I got a moderator warning. And the mod totally likes me, too. She’s put up with my shit for years, and when I get a mod warning from her, I know it’s usually warranted. So I check myself.

This time, I was already aware that something was off, but I hadn’t really done anything about it. Do you get like that? You know there’s something “off” in your sphere or alembic or whatever your metaphor for your spiritual existence, but you don’t bother with figuring out what it is right away because your really just don’t feel like it?

That happens to me more often than I like. So what’s going on? I haven’t done anything lately that I don’t usually do. I’ve been slipping in my ascension through the spheres. There’s been nothing new to report in any of the spheres for months, it seems. Like I ask the archangel of the sphere if there’s anything I need to work on, and it’s like, no, and I’m all, thanks, please continue to integrate the forces of your sphere into mine, and he’s like, yeah ok, and I’m off to the next sphere. Same old same old.

Plus there’s been a slew of 12-year-olds in the house for the last month as my daughter has started making friends around here after a year. They’re fun, alive, full of life and potential, and annoying as shit. AND they eat a lot. I can’t keep a bag of cheesy poofs around to save my life.

I spent a couple of weeks fixing my spirit pot with Venus-based herbs. Bune’s been enjoying it, and I have an opportunity to double my income that manifested a couple days after adjusting the contents of the pot.

I’ve also been developing an interest in crystal skulls. More on that in a bit.

Let’s see, there’s been a horrible astrological conjunction for the last couple of weeks too. Saturn and Mars have been conjunct in Virgo for a while. That’s a lot of heavy, malefic energy pouring down on us. Venus and Mercury have been combust as well.

So basically, I’m just hitting a “plateau.” You know, like a mountain, but with a flat top. It goes from a steep climb that takes a lot f focus to a flat, plain expanse that doesn’t take hardly any effort to traverse, and nothing really happens. You can see for miles if anything’s approaching, and… it can be rather boring if you’re more interested in climbing.

The maintenance phase of the Work in between the times when you do something major are like plateaus. Lots of magicians stop at a plateau. The daily grind distracts them from the Work because nothing’s really going on, and they get frustrated, so they start making drama for themselves to have something interesting going on.

And that’s what I’ve been doing. The way I see it, creating drama is a negative means of providing entertainment. It doesn’t get me closer to God. I don’t find myself sharing anything particularly useful to anyone by being a contentious bitch. I’m not putting my energies into purifying anything by starting shit on lists, that’s for sure.

So after taking a quick inventory, I changed tactics. Instead of just starting shit, I decided to actually talk about things of substance. Instead of grumping around, I’ve found an interesting side project to occupy my time. It doesn’t take any specialized knowledge that I haven’t already got, it’s just putting the techniques I’ve developed to date into practice in another realm. I’m monitoring my internal feelings too, to see how I’m doing, and why I might be feeling pissy in each moment that I feel pissy. It’s been an interesting exercise so far, and I’ve only been doing it for a day.

It boils down to reacting to how I feel vs. creating a scene that makes me feel a particular way. I don’t like being a bitchy magician. I don’t like it a bit. So I seek my pleasure, and that comes from being what I really am, a manifestation of God, taking part in the creation of the World. It’s a great attitude adjustment. Remembering your race and value, that you are of the divine Race (REGARDLESS OF SKIN COLOR), and your Value is determined by whether you’re actively participating in Creation or not.

So out of Drama, Death. Death is change, mortification, decomposition, and breaking down the useless shells into something fecund, nutrient-rich, and pathogen free that will make the flowers grow. Or the Oak, or the corn, or whatever you plant in it. Even a Rose. The bitchy pissy magician must die, be digested, and refined for the next stage of the Work.

I’ve begun the somewhat painstaking process of writing out the events that lead to the creation of my spirit pot, the details of making it, and the results. Maybe it’ll turn into an actual published manuscript. Time will tell.

Jason Miller’s got a neat post about his recent experiences with St. Expedite. One of the things that caught my interest is that in his blog post, Jason mentions that he suspected the work was failing when it began to seem like he had been hit with a prosperity spell. He says:

I had all the signs of a prosperity spell being cast on myself, which could mean one of two things:

1. Just from working with that kind of mojo, I picked up some good juju.

or, more likely…

2. The Saint could not accomplish his task so all the energy was just zinging around like a stream of water hitting a wall.

I haven’t had anything like that happen, and I’m jealous. I want a ritual to not work and result in me getting prosperity too! Is that so wrong?

I don’t know of any rituals I’ve done that haven’t worked. Lots haven’t worked the way I expected at all, but I’ve always had some kind of result. Sometimes they try, but the spirits just aren’t of the proper type to address the problem you sent it to deal with. Some Venus spirits are great at delivering riches. Others are not. Haniel won’t necessarily make you rich, but if you try and it fails, you can ask him which Venus spirits would be better for this kind of thing.

Maybe my problem is that I don’t think of that as a failed ritual. I consider it an incomplete ritual. Every rite I’ve done has lead me to new rites, and a single ritual rapidly becomes an ongoing project, like the Bune spirit pot thing.