Rufus Opus

Category: Blogspot Archive

Category: Blogspot Archive

  • Daimon Brainstorming Sessions Part 2

    This is Part 2 of the Daimon-Brainstorming sessions that resulted from my recent experiences with getting sick from a Bune operation gone awry. For background see “The Weirdest Bune Thing Yet” and “Daimon Brainstorming Sessions Part 1.”

    Picking up where we left off, I had woken up feeling great after performing a really quick rite with my spirit pot that houses Bune. That doesn’t really convey how much better I was feeling than before, the difference was totally miraculous. But I also wanted to make sure it didn’t happen again by following up on the Hierophant information I had received through the tarot divination and the first brainstorming session with my Daimon.

    So that night, I sat down with my Daimon, and we talked. I can’t really convey the conversation because I don’t remember the actual dialog. I took notes, but it was the information we were discussing that I wrote down, and not the conversation.

    Basically, I asked it what I should be focusing on to enact the resolution shown in the tarot reading (Hierophant, six of Wands, King of Wands). It revealed I hadn’t been plugging into the Above spoken of in the Emerald Tablet of Hermes. Most of my magical practices are pretty mundane-focused. I haven’t been doing a lot of Scrying of the Aethyrs, rising through the Spheres, or traveling through the heavens in a fiery chariot like Ezekiel did.

    And the Daimon reminded me that this is why the Hierophant is the Hierophant. The roles of the Hierophant are a reflection, a side effect of his relationship with God. The Hierophant gets his knowledge and experience and the ability to be a Hierophant on these spiritual journeys, and from contemplating the Divine Source.

    I hadn’t been doing these things much lately.

    So the next most obvious question was, “What should I actually be doing then?”

    We brainstormed for awhile, and what came out of that was a Merkavah–esque meditative ritual that includes visiting each Sphere of the Elements, the Seven Heavens (classical planetary realms), the “Heaven of the Stars” symbolized by Chokmah on the GD Tree of Life most are familiar with, and then the realm of the Prima Materia, the First Material that manifested in Kether. From there, my Daimon said, I needed to travel through the Pleroma and into the Divine Darkness in which the Creator dwells. After I was finished, I was to return going through each of the spheres in reverse order and then grounding out.

    This was all to be done in the Body of Light, making this a meditative and contemplative ritual. I don’t do many of those, and this one pretty much makes up for that fact.

    To begin, I lit a candle in my Lamp on my altar to represent the Light of God. Then I lit my incense charcoal and got some Abramelin Incense burning. It’s my favorite, and since I always start with a conjuration of my Daimon, it’s always appropriate.

    I then sat in my Comfy Chair (every magician should have one, as Patrick Dunn says; mine is IKEA’s Poang chair with the matching footstool). I had my notes. I entered my astral temple. I performed the rite. It took a while.

    First I conjured my Daimon. We have an agreement, I call, he comes. Next I quickly traveled up through the Elemental Spheres in my Body of Light. In the realm of Earth, I took on the form of a Bull, in Water the form of a Man, in Air the form of an Eagle, and in Fire the form of a Lion. When I got to the Lunar realm, I conjured Gabriel, the Archangel of the Moon using her Name, Seal from the Magical Calendar, and the name of God Shaddai El Chai. I then traveled through the Sphere of the Moon in my Body of Light with my Daimon until we got to the Gate leading to the Sphere of Mercury.

    At that Gate, I conjured Raphael, Archangel of Mercury. I follow the Trithemian school of placement for the archangels Raphael and Michael. This means that they are switched from what you see in the Magical Calendar link above. The seals stay with the planets, as they are the seals of the Intelligence of the planet. Only the names “Raphael” and “Michael” are switched from the Magical Calendar’s representation in the Trithemian school of correspondences.

    So at the Gate of Mercury, I conjured Raphael using his Seal and the God Name Elohim Tzabaoth. I traveled through Mercury to the Gate of Venus, and did the same with Haniel using the God Name Jehovah Tzabaoth. For each of the remaining spheres, it was the same, conhjure Archangel using the Sigil, name of the angel, and appropriate God Name, and then travel the sphere to the Gate to the next Sphere. After Venus, it went Sun-Michael-Seal-Eloah Va Da’at, Mars-Camael-Seal-Elohim Gibor, Jupiter-Sachiel-El, Saturn-Cassiel-Jehovah Elohim.

    When I got to the Gate to the Heaven of the Stars (roughly corresponding to Chokmah on the GD Tree of Life, I conjured Ratziel in the God Name Jah. I used the name Ratziel spelled out in the Celestial Script for the spirit’s Seal. After traveling through that sphere, I conjured the Archangel Metatron using the Name Eheieh to get access into Kether.

    The rest can’t really be described in words. I continued traveling through what is represented by the three negative veils. The first negative veil, the Ain Soph Aur was to me the Pleroma of the Gnostics. Multiple heavens, multiple entities that spoke in light instead of sound. Very interesting. I think that’s what you go through when you scry the Enochian Aethyrs, but I don’t know that to be true, just a suspicion. After that, I went through the Divine Darkness that Dionysius talks about. This is a must-read, in my opinion. Click that link later.

    Then I returned through the Spheres I had ascended through on the way up, conjuring each spirit at each gate until I reached the Elemental realm of fire. There I conjure Michael Angel of the the Element Fire and had him guide me through the Sphere to the Gate to the Realm of Air, where I conjured Raphael to lead me to the Gate of Water, then Gabriel who lead me to the Gate of Earth, and finally Uriel, who lead me back to my own Astral Temple. I thanked him, and my Daimon and then got up and did some grounding-out exercises.

    It took SIX HOURS. Strangely, three of those hours were spent in the Realm of the Moon on the way up. The rest took much less time. I had a lot of Lunar things to deal with. I may or may not blog about them. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of your own things to discover if you choose to do a rite like this, although the Moon realm might not take you as long.

    Dee does say something about needing to travel three times around the Earth in the Realm of the Moon before you can reach the next sphere in his Hieroglyphic Monad though, and I hadn’t known that before doing the rite. Maybe that’s part of it, I don’t know.

    Well, that’s Part 2. I wanted to get these out tonight before I forgot some of the details.

    Good Nigh, and Good Magick.

  • Shifting Gears on Goetia

    Ok, so after years and years (and years) of RO bashing Demon Magic, I’m shifting gears. It would be fairly typical for me to say, “I changed my mind, I was wrong” and dive right in, fuck the consequences, but that’s not where I’m at.

    See, the reason I stopped doing Demon magic is because it’s dangerous. It works really well, but there’s little room for error. For example, if I go to Raphael and ask him to bring me wealth in the amount of $4,000 by the end of the month, by any means necessary, as long as no one in my family got hurt, he immediately starts leading me in my mind through the means necessary to get what I need. He shows me what I have that is of value already, and demonstrates the means necessary to make the difference within the time constraints.

    Bune simply said, “yes, I will do that,” and a week or so later a faulty regulator caused a gas build up that flamed out and caught some stuff on fire that I’d left too close to the water heater. My first check from the insurance company was for almost exactly the amount I needed, a little more in fact.

    While everyone got out alive and unharmed, and technically no one in my family was hurt, the stress was terrible. My ex about had a break down. My kids were fine, except for when their mom and I fought as a result of the stress. It was one of many times in the relationship we nearly got divorced, but I did magic to save the relationship, and we made it through that storm.

    And I promised her I wouldn’t do any more demon magic. It works, very well, and I really wanted to go deeper into it. I wanted to figure out if he could make a house fire, what else could he do? I mean that kind of manifestation is pretty damned awesome, if it can be contained and channeled properly. But I felt it was too risky. I didn’t have room to fuck up, I had kids and a wife to protect and support.

    A couple weeks ago, my ex and I separated. In May I started a new job, making  a ton of money, but working 16-hour days. I dropped a lot of the Kingdom Maintenance magic I had been doing, including the stuff that was keeping my relationship afloat. I might write a post about that some time, but not now.

    As a result of these changes, I’m free to go back to the figuring out the demon magic I was practicing before.

    However, I’ve learned a whole lot in the two years since doing that kind of magic, and I have a better understanding of how magic works in general. Effective magic is done in a balanced way, Working with the spirits of the celestial, terrestrial, and chthonic in a coordinated effort. I’ve been working with spirits of the dead and genii loci, and various elementals who aren’t entirely demonic for the last couple of years, and I’m looking forward to including the demons in the mix again. I’m planning a series of rites to get back in the swing of things, conjuring the spirits to learn and get some minor assistance here and there, and then move onto more specific manifestation stuff.

    But first I’m planning a full Hermetic Retreat.

  • Modern Goetic Grimoire, Available Again

    Ok, so due to some recent experiences, I’m re-releasing the Modern Goetic Grimoire. It’s a record of my personal practice in the Lemegetton’s Goetia, my approach, my understanding, my experiences with the spirits, and the results.

    Long time followers of my blog know that when I did some bad magic* with Bune for some quick cash, he burned my house down, and I got a little bitter. The first insurance check was almost the exact amount I told Bune I needed. the magic worked. I just REALLY didn’t like how it worked. Because it threatened things I thought were important.
    I’ve realized recently that a lot of what I thought mattered didn’t, after all. Weird shit to go through, I tell you what. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
    But in light of recent experience, I’ve come to realize that there wasn’t really anything wrong with what happened. I just didn’t like it. It was “evil,” because it was “shit that sucked.” But shit sucks anyway, magic or no. 
    So if you buy it and use it, know that:
    A) It worked great for me, really, really great, except I didn’t like it.
    B) You get what you ask for. That’s not always a good thing.
    C) It’s not safe. The techniques I provide offer a buffer, but they don’t keep you from being stupid.
    I’m pasting the Buy Now buttons for Google and Paypal here below, but it can also be purchased on my eBooks page. The cost is US$12.95.

    Paypal:





    Google:









    * Bad magic in that it was desperate, and poorly phrased on my part.

  • Strength Training

    I was reading Gwynt-Siarad’s 8 Winds and Broken Vow, and the follow up post. He was going through some really practical Mage stuff, serving his community in the role of the shaman. One of the things he mentioned was how tired he felt after going on a Spirit Walk and encountering a spiritual-beastie.

    I totally know that feeling. When you go looking into people’s “spheres” to see what’s going on in their spiritual life, it can be really draining to you personally. Emotional strain is tiring. It takes a level of compassion and empathy to be able to get a clear reading on someone’s spiritual state that can leave you feeling exhausted afterwards.

    We’re used to dealing with our own stress levels, and we’ve got the reserves necessary to deal with that on a regular basis. When we start working with other people’s stressors, it’s an additional load to process, and it can leave you feeling weak, even if there are no entities encountered.

    I’ve seen empaths advise different methods of maintaining a safe distance from your clients, ways to filter out the stressors so they don’t impact the empath. It’s a matter of maintaining a clinical objectivity while still interacting with some emotionally charged issues. It takes a lot of practice to do it well, and even in the best of times it’s still a filtering technique. Filters have holes to let things through that you want, on purpose. Extreme situations (or entities in your clients’ sphere) can rip right through the filter.

    Like physical exercise, spiritual exercises improve endurance and spiritual muscles. Regular core maintenance rites, like cycling through the spheres, meditation and contemplation, regular observances to patrons and so forth are good core exercises that help build up your ability to deal with other people’s shit.

    But emphasizing one or two exercises isn’t enough. There are people who do the LBRP and Middle Pillar daily, and they’ve got some really big muscles developed as a result. But when they get put into practical situations, they’re like the body-builder who finds himself in a Mixed Martial Arts octagon getting their asses kicked by someone half their size.

    Vary your routine, make sure your core practices involve more than just a couple basic techniques. If you have a reasonable expectation that you’ll be meeting up with demonic forces or hostile spirits, you need to get used to dealing with them. One of the few things I’d recommend the Lemegeton’s Goetia for is training in dealing with spirits with malevolent natures. Don’t challenge them to a duel to the death or anything, you know, stupid. But they’re safe enough to conjure and interview, when the proper precautions are taken.*  They’ve got a wide spectrum of abilities and specialties, and getting to know them, how they operate, the forces they represent and wield can be a very useful thing when you encounter them, or similar spirits in your Work.

    Also, it never hurts to make sure they’ll never work against you, especially with all the folks turning to that particular grimoire first when they think to curse you. Rofocal-Focalor (or one of his lackeys or corresponding spirits) will be sent against you sooner or later if you ruffle feathers in the occult community, and feathers are easily ruffled ’round here. Having him show up and say, “Hey, so-and-so sent me to kill you, LOL,” is much better than performing an exorcism from a hospital bed, you know?

    Now that I’m all side tracked, I’m considering re-releasing the Modern Goetic Grimoire. I’ve had a change of heart about them recently. An insight into their nature, and their role in the life and sphere of a magician. That’s another post though.

    This post was about strength training.

    daily exercises, meditation, contemplation, opening portals to the aethyrs, travelling in astral form through the elemental kingdoms and planetary spheres, ascending to the highest spheres through the Gate opened by Iophial… These things are important for the magician.

    Magicians are like Americans moving back to the countries of their ancestors. I’m French. I have relatives in the Alsace Lorraine region, allegedly. To live there, in the home world of my true ancestors, I’d need to learn the language, figure out local customs and economics, and integrate myself into the system so I could benefit from it, and it could benefit from me. It would take time, practice, and repeated exercises to make a place for myself, and to thrive.

    But I’d do it. What else is there than to thrive?

    If we’re going to thrive as magicians, we need to take time for strength training. Proactive research, conjurations, and the building up of gnosis so that when we are faced with situations that require strength, we have it.

    * It’s only when you start asking them to influence your life that you start asking for trouble, in my opinion. Not saying it can’t be done, if done in the spirit of “teach me to excel” rather than “grant me the fruits of excellence without doing anything for it,” but it takes wisdom and patience and work ethic.

  • Greatness

    A person’s greatness is measured in their success, not their attempts.

    As a father of three, I see a lot of the “as long as you tried your best, you succeeded” bullshit propaganda pushed down kids’ throats to make them feel good about whatever they did, even if they sucked at it. I see it’s the mediocre kids’ parents that make sure this shit is served up daily. The ones who do nothing to encourage their kids’ academic success, or athletic prowess, who go through the suburban routine (rec center soccer/dance, summer camps, a membership at the Y) while never actually investing anything in the development of their child. Disney Channel kids, Disney Channel kids everywhere!

    I blame Rocky. The first Rocky, Rocky I. Rocky lost when it counted. He was a presented as a hero because he went the distance, not because he won. He was a loser.

    Or maybe Rocky was just a sign post, some two-bit actor paying the rent in California making porn, writing a script about a boxing movie in his spare time, all the while tuned into a cultural wavelength, wrapping a boxing story around it.

    Magicians have to deal with similar bullshit, because it pervades our culture too. We understand a spiritual TRVTH, that it’s not the Goal, it’s the Journey that matters. We appreciate and value the gathering, indexing, and distribution of organized information. We learn skills, we learn our lessons, and as a result we can do things that are far more meaningful through the scope of eternity, regardless of where we are socio-economically by our culture’s material standards within any given lifetime.

    While that’s a TRVTH across many belief systems in one form or another, and there is value and merit in understanding this TRVTH, it’s still your success that makes you a great magician, not your attempt.

    It might take you an Edison’s-light-bulb of number of attempts before you succeed. Every time you fail, you have to try again. Learn your lessons, yes, but then turn around and apply those lessons to getting it right this time.

    The Great Work is a process that has no single landmark of success or accomplishment. I aim to be a Power when I die. I think I’d already make a decent enough one, but not the kind I want to be. There’s a lot more to go, no matter how far I’ve gotten.

    But there are points of success in my Work that have built up over time, like steps on a ladder that I’ve successfully taken. Learning a cosmology, conjuring the entities, applying the results to my life. Receiving an initiation, integrating the forces, and being able as a result to reach the next level of initiation and continue the process. There are Gates in the process, check points. It took many attempts to achieve success, to pass through the Gate, but it is the success that makes the next thing possible.

    Don’t settle, my friends, for “as long as you tried your best, that’s all that matters.” It matters a lot to try your best, but you haven’t succeeded just because you tried.

    Maybe your goal was wrong. Maybe you were trying to achieve the wrong thing, maybe that’s the lesson you need to apply. Don’t think I’m saying you have to get neurotically caught in a loop of trying to accomplish an ignorant goal. Don’t throw yourself at a concrete wall until your atoms pass through the atoms of the wall. You’ll batter yourself senseless. Don’t do it metaphorically either. If the goal is to get on the other side of the wall, and you can’t phase through it, find a door, make one, or climb the wall. Maybe you just aren’t near the Gate.

    Find another way to succeed. Don’t settle.

  • Same as the old boss

    RO here, knowing that many in his audience won’t recognize the title, and still having faith in humanity.

    Bleak dark days, it’s terrible, the financial time of plenty is over, and it’s gonna be hard, harder than it was, woe woe woe…
    All true.
    Nevertheless, life was never easy. In the last 10-15 years, we had a boom time, and things aren’t going to be that easy after the great recession, which ain’t over, and we’re slipping back into.
    But I worked my ass off through the boom time and came out making less than my bills anyway. I had to shake my money maker to break even. I may have squandered away opportunities I missed at the time, in honest ignorance, missed the boat, missed the fad.
    But so the fuck what? 
    The same principles that made money in rich times make money in poor times. Apply what you’ve learned in the spiritual worlds to your physical life, and make some bank, if that’s what you need.
    Money isn’t shit to the magician. That ain’t why we’re here. Focus on the End Goal, and you’ll find money is just … I mean, it’s as common as dirt. You want money, you work for it. There are patterns that work, A+B=C and shit. Jason’s just written a Sorcerer’s guide to money, Financial Sorcery. I haven’t had friggin’ time to read it (because I decided to spend 18 lame-ass months making money to launch my international occult rock star career), but if it’s anything like Strategic Sorcery, or his Financial Magic talks I’ve seen at Crucible, dude, you can’t lose. He lays shit out practically, focused on the things that work, and he names names to call on for help.
    Money’s easy. Especially for magicians.
    It’s time that’s the motherfucker. 

  • Post Apocalyptic Living

    Jason and Gordon have been writing really cool stuff about the world we live in for the last couple of years. Gordon’s been at the whole Apocalytpic living thing longer, I think, but Jason’s always had that fundamental premise behind his work too. These are reasons I love them both.

    Jason wrote something incredibly lucid about the world we live in today. He sums up a lot of things that I’ve been seeing and thinking in a really understandable way, as usual. I really appreciate his insight into the politics behind the current events, it was a piece I’ve suspected but never really understood. Definitely worth looking into, if you want a comprehensive understanding of what’s going on.

    At the end of the post, Jason does something that’s so fucking Eristic at its core that it will go completely ignored by most folks, except for those with knee-jerk reactions.

    He dares to think for himself.

    The people at the top are cheaters and liars and play dirty. You might need to do the same. Use magic. Invent something. Be clever and mobile if you can. Stash gold in Singapore and invest in businesses in Mongolia. Hustle. Christ, lie if you have to.

    Remember the débrouillard posts I made a long, long time ago? Piracy, living outside the box… I stopped writing about it because of a comment Jason made, about how the first rule of dèbrouillard club is don’t talk about dèbrouillard club. I’m down with that. Figured you’d get the point and move right along.

    Hermetic Mage, you aren’t in society the way everyone else is. Your patron god, Hermes? He’s a trickster. You cheat at life. You are a magician. You use the knowledge of your self, your true self, your family connections, your divine nature to get ahead. You manipulate unseen forces to make Fate and Fortune your bitch.

    At least, you should. Doesn’t make much sense not to if you really think about it.

    Wake the fuck up, brothers and sisters. Life is what you make of it with the resources at your disposal. It’s (mostly) entirely up to you what you do with it.

    Jason’t post points out some shit you need to know about the world you live in. The closing comment is important to consider. I don’t think you have to lie, you have to tell the TRVTH. In a way that expresses the TRVTH to people in their language, vocabulary, taxonomy. Are you a brilliant artist with an understanding of complex marketing and design techniques? You could make a lot of money with that, if you could convince the hiring managers of that fact. You need to put it to them in language they understand, the same way you have to phrase your statement of intent in terms incarnate Archangels with little understanding of the viscera of human existence to get what you want. Jason’s got a friend who will vouch for your ability and skill set in a way that presents the TRVTH in terms the HR rats can comprehend.

    It’s time to live by your wits, ladies and gentlemen. It’s always been that time, but maybe the “New Normal” will provide sufficient catalyst to initiate the natural achemical reaction.

  • Why it Hurts

    [Edit: I started writing this when the linked posts were current. Things happened, and it’s just now getting posted.]

    Man, read these:

    Excellent stuff.

    Perspective. We need it.

    I need it.

    Jason’s original point, the thing I agree with him about… shit gets blown out of proportion when that shit’s the HGA.

    Pain. Suffering. Refining through the Fire. The agony of the attainment.

    It’s real. For some of us.

    For others, it’s not that bad at all. A couple students, a few fellow wise old magicians didn’t go through a ton of shit, just some minor shit, because they got the point quicker than I did. I bet Jow, with his appreciation of the important things in life, his honest gratitude, his humility, his kindness… I bet for people like him, it’s a walk down the beach, and the heat of the Sun is a pleasure, not a pain at all.

    Michael mentioned that he required his experience to attain the HGA, in a way. I needed the suffering of my initiation too. It was right for me. It was right for my first “student,” now long-time friend, who I “helped,” whose life fell to pieces as I encouraged him to do more magic and call down more fire.

    But people go through worse shit without ever conjuring their HGA. You know anyone over thirty who hasn’t had some shit to deal with, something traumatic, something huge that you think about and wonder if you’d be able to handle it? I’ve got magician friends with more experience and empowerment than me who I respect and love who are facing or have faced more terrible things than I can imagine being able to deal with. Shit that doesn’t just go away in a year or two.

    Shit. Happens. Regardless.

    My take is that it’s better to walk away with a spiritual assistant who can help me do the stuff my ancestors in the Hermetic current taught were possible with a supernatural assistant. Might as well get some magician goodies out of the suffering, you know?

    But I’m a shit-oriented person. Mostly because I don’t think I should have to suffer. Suffering sucks. I hate to suffer. I think I shouldn’t have to suffer, honestly, because I’m cool. I deserve better. I have a high opinion of myself. If I suffer, it ain’t right.

    As a result, when I suffer, it’s the worst fucking thing that can happen, and I bitch about it a lot. I’m like, can you believe it? I had to suffer? ME!

    But honestly, it wasn’t that bad. I lived through it. Lots of people have had worse shit to deal with than losing their girlfriends and their jobs, you know? I didn’t even lose my girlfriend. My relationship with my ex got really shitty and SHOULD have fallen apart, but I was stubborn in my stupidity, and held on to it anyway. And jobs, money… I had issues to work through with that. I’m over it. I have an awesome job. If I’m not over it, I’ll go through more shit, and end up with a more awesome job.

    Regardless I got my HGA, so whatever, I’m good.

  • Yay, Faith in Fate Debate!

    So Jason disagrees with me about FATE.

    Or… does he?

    Basically, I reject the notion that this is all some pre-written fucked up kabuki dance where  there are people we are meant to be with, things we are meant to do, and things we are not meant to do. If that fatalistic idea of God as micro-manager is true, then any alteration thereof is also part of that plan so it is not even worth thinking that way. If it is not true, then we have to take some responsibility for ourselves, including our initiatory paths.

    That’s the quote I’m aiming at. Especially the italicized parts.

    Jason’s expressing the belief that “fatalism” and “free will” are “opposed.” One must negate the other.

    But… think about it.

    Jason and I agree that there is the Body and the Not-Body aspects of the Complete Human Entity. There is something that continues to exist after the body is gone. Conjurations of the dead, exorcisms of the same, veneration of the dead as saints, ascended masters, or what-have-you tend to indicate the belief that the death of the flesh is not the end of the entity.

    The Body and the Not-Body coexist while we’re living. It’s an intimate partnership between two beings operating on different levels of existence. The Not-Body gets certain desires and necessities met, and the Body likewise gets to claim its due. It’s symbiotic, and it goes both ways.

    Does the Body have Free Will? Can it make me do anything it wants? Am I its puppet?

    Or is it Fated to do what I tell it to? Can it deny my commandments? Can it refuse to obey?

    The only honest answer to any of these questions is “sometimes.”

    And I say that’s because “fate” and “free will” don’t matter in the discussion of the human entity. It’s the wrong language to talk about the relationship between the physical and spiritual manifestation of the human being.

    I think the relationship between the Body and the Not-Body parts of the self is very much an analogy of the relationship between the Source and the Image of the Source, between God and Man. God-the-micromanager is really the Big Chief, and he really sets everything in stone the way it has to be. And then he manifests in it, and becomes His Own Self and Not His Own Self at the same time. He follows his will and materializes, becoming us. His Will manifests through “us” the same way “our” will manifests through the flesh.

    So is everything predestinated? I think so. But it can’t happen without us. Yes, it will happen, but as a result of us making it happen. And we do it because we really want it to happen.

    Fate? Free Will?

    Do you feel fated? Because I don’t. I feel like I get to do what I want when I want to. And things always seem to fall together as if there were a plan. A purpose. Maybe that’s my Body framing the experience so it can be processed logically and stored for increased probability of survival in a hostile world.

    Does it matter? Ultimately, it does not.

    Back to Jason’s main points:

    If that fatalistic idea of God as micro-manager is true, then any alteration thereof is also part of that plan so it is not even worth thinking that way.

    Why isn’t it worth thinking that way? You’re doing what you meant to do, exactly what you want to do. And if you don’t want to do it, you can do something else, and you can’t fuck anything up, no matter what. Knowing whatever you want to do is the Will of God makes you more free and powerful than anything else I’ve experienced. And knowing that even if you’re “wrong,” it will be ok anyway?

    I think it’s totally worth thinking that way.

    And second point:

    If it is not true, then we have to take some responsibility for ourselves, including our initiatory paths.

    If it’s true, we still have to take some responsibility for ourselves, including our initiatory paths, because the Will of God doesn’t manifest without us making it happen.

    I’m a relatively powerful magician, in a lot of ways. I can make pretty much anything happen that I want to, within reason, almost always through totally “natural-looking” means, even though I totally cheat by calling on powerful relatives in high places who understand me better than I understand myself. 

    But the magic doesn’t do itself. The wands don’t up and cast the circle, the spirits don’t conjure themselves, and the whiskey doesn’t make itself a libation without my immortal will and my flesh working together with these material spirits, any more than the body fasts on its own to bring spiritual attainment, or the spirit wills to ascend on its own without the Source willing it to ascend at the same time.

  • The HGA and the Celestials

    So another of my students found that the fires of the Sun burn when you’re passing through ’em. I know that feel bro. It gets better.

    And the thing Jow wrote about celestials and K&CHGA that I read the last time I could get my head above the waters of my mundane job, it’s on my mind:

    Also if I am risking EVERYTHING in my life, I want a return at least equal to what I put in. If the risk is no home, no family, no job, and no sanity, I want the literal cash and prizes at the end of the book. I want my ass to fly, be invisible, demolish city walls, and have all the powers of a living God on earth. If I risk everything material, and human in my life, my whole material life’s work,  in an epic gambit for spiritual power and success, I want an epic reward. I do not want something that is “really useful”. Also, I do not want it to be a product of some spirits I’ve bound into servitude. I want that shit to be MINE.

    This is quintuple the case if what i want is a Mystic Union type experience. There are easier, safer, quicker less expensive, and more trustworthy ways of getting that.

    Also, the working highlights a problem with Celestial spirits. That problem is, that they are Celestial. They are alien to our experience. This can be problematic when said spirit is re arranging your life, and putting your feet to the fire.

    I love Jow. To pieces. He and Deb make me happy in spite of my own weird shit, like the rest of the people I consider friends.* That’s partially why it’s got to be said:

    Jow, really? What the fuck, man?

    Literal cash prizes? Yeah, you get those. Flying invisibly through the air demolishing city walls? Yeah, you get that too. And living god on Earth? Really!?

    Yes! Motherfucking Yes! Yes, yes, exactly that, YES!

    Ahem.

    That, too, is yours as a result.

    FFS.

    That’s why we do this shit. And it’s not just one lifetime, one incarnation, one instance of awareness, it’s for “everyone else” too, a bit. And it lasts fucking forever. FOREVER.

    Hell, font don’t matter.

    for. ever.

    And the Celestials are not alien to our experience. “THEY” are our brothers and sisters. They are our family. They are us, only without the flesh suit and all its concerns. They are us. We are them. Spirits in a material world. Thye have never been flesh, never been matter, but they have an intimate conscious understanding of what “flesh” and “matter” really means, an understanding that we need to remember to be whole.

    We already know the material life and lifestyle and all its concerns. Being human makes that imperative, and it’s part of the deal. We agree to pay attention to that in exchange for the experience of being incarnate. It’s not something we thought about beforehand, I don’t think, but it’s something I think we owe ourselves. Getting rich and well-laid is the least we can do out of gratitude to the Holy Spirit, for Christ’s sake.

    But remembering who we are and where we come from is important. The “Holy Guardian Angel” concept wouldn’t even be possible if we weren’t gods. Why the hell would a spirit of that power and ability assist us if we weren’t essentially fucking awesome? We’re totally worth it.

    All that superhero Neo-controlling-the-Matrix bullshit, I fully believe it’s possible. It’s not easy, it takes some serious fucking work and intense devotion, and a lot of practice, and I’m not speaking from full experience, just partial, but I swear to God the First Father, if that’s what you want to do, I believe it’s possible. I’ve done weird shit consistently, and while I pursued it, the weird shit got weirder. I saw no boundaries of what could be done, with practice, and training by the HGA and other relatives in the Extended Celestial Family. I didn’t get that far, there are stories of folks who’ve gone further. I know I will go further.

    I think what worries people (I’m no longer talking about Jow or Skyllaros, but instead a mashup of all the people I’ve ever talked to and imagined talking to) about this process is the fear that they’ll lose their shit. Relationships, jobs, positions of comfort or respect, the results of a lifetime of study and practice… They’re afraid to put that shit up on the chopping block in exchange for the potentially empty promise of a “better” life. Especially when they see people who have allegedly been through the process talking about life as if they were still human, still struggling with being enlightened and kind and happy and successful, and remembering to manifest the lifestyle they want all the time. There’s no obvious difference in the lives of the magicians with K&CHGA and those without. Except the ones who’ve been through it have stories of pain and sacrifice.

    It’s true, the fires of the Sun burn away a lot of shit in your life. Solar initiations can suck.

    But nothing burns that you need. K&CHGA, the process of attaining the Supernatural Assistant, it’s not about the things you think matter, it’s about the things that really matter. The flames of the Sun are processed through the ritual, intelligently, by someone who loves you entirely because you are who you are. The heat of the Solar flame is directed specifically to the things that need to be refined, purified, tempered in your life.

    If the person you’re with is the person you’re meant to be with, the processes of the Work will result in the two of you being more tightly bound, more securely together, more focused on your reason for being together than ever before. It strengthens relationships that are good, it only destroys the ones that suck. I promise.

    If your career path is right for you, it will only get better. If it’s wrong for you, you’ll find yourself in a new career path in no time, amazed that you made it through the rough spots.

    It might hurt, transitioning between one lifestyle and another, it might be scary for a while, but the result is a refined, tempered, strengthened, repaired foundation for you to build upon.

    I might say K&CHGA is “useful,” but not necessary, but that’s because I think too many people have presented it as the penultimate goal of magic rather than an early stage. What I’m not saying is how fucking beautiful K&CHGA really is. I’m not talking about how my life changed forever in that moment. I’m not talking about how I get money on demand, or how I’ve learned to fly invisibly through the Aires, breaking through the walls that really stand in the way. SPOILERS!

    Could I have reached that without K&CHGA? Who knows? Not me. I think it’s possible, but I wouldn’t EVER trade K&C for any alternative. It’s great. Totally worth the risk of pain.

    Cause if you think you won’t suffer the pain of having the things you’re attached to threatened if you don’t attain K&CHGA, you’re not really thinking about what you’ve seen.

    * There are maybe 12, at any given time. I’m sure that’s probably a coincidence.